Wanna Get Away?

I never realized how much I took "alone time" for granted, until I moved to a place where I don't have any.  I'm surrounded by people, pretty much 24/7.  When I'm in my room and people are talking in the living room, I can hear them...maybe not to distinguish words, but I know they're there.  Walking around on the ranch, there's always someone around.  You stop, chat, wave, whatever...but there are always people there.  Last weekend I got to the point where I had had enough of people.  Saturday was just rough...it was pouring and there were people everywhere I turned...people who don't know me well, and I'm not about to try to get to know them in groups.  I don't operate that way.  I get to know people one-on-one, when I'm in groups where I don't know most of the people there I don't say anything in the best case scenario, and I get super-uncomfortable in the worst case scenario.  I'm getting better, but when I need alone time, trying to push myself in that isn't a smart idea.

Church was fine, but afterwards there was a slight issue because I was going to be heading back with a different van than I came in.  I was told who I would be riding with, but it was someone I didn't know yet.  I'm sure they knew me...it's always easier to learn a few new names rather than be the new person and have to learn everyone's name...but I didn't know who they were when I was given the name.  I told that to the person who normally drives me on Saturday, when he told me about the arrangements, and he said it wasn't a problem, he'd introduce me.  Well, when we got to Sunday, he said I could go down and meet them in the grocery store.  I looked at him and said I didn't know who they were, so how could I meet them in the grocery store.  He asked me how come I didn't know who they were, and I reminded him of our conversation the day before...which he then remembered.  But as he had to stay there and wait for some people he was meeting up with, he couldn't introduce me like he had planned.  So I went down, shopped, and came back to the table we had been sitting at.  By this point I was rather fed up with people in general (there had been a few other conversations where assumptions were made about what and who I did know about things down here...all in the span of about 20 minutes), and I just wanted to be alone.  But I'm in the middle of a mall in Tegucigalpa...that's not happening.  I was asked by the original driver if I was okay, I said no.  He asked if there was anything he could do to help, and I said no, because I didn't think that it would benefit anything to vent my frustration on him.  And then the guy who was driving me home came over, and I was introduced to him, and he's really nice...helped me bring my groceries to the car, spent the drive back chatting, it was good.  It almost made up for the frustration of getting to that point. 

By time we got back to the ranch, I felt like I was jumping out of my skin...I needed to get somewhere else...anywhere else.  So I grabbed my phone and iPod and walked up to the pond...I tried calling someone a few times to no avail.  I needed to be alone, but I wanted to talk through all the frustrations and whatever going through my head.  I stayed up by the pond in blissful solitude until a change in the wind and encroaching thunder told me I should probably walk back (it was probably an hour or so later).  I was by the campo when it started raining, I did get into my house before it poured.  Which effectively cut out all options for retreat anywhere else...so I went next door to find someone to talk with (note "next door" is connected by the screened in porch...so no need to get wet).  It helped...a lot.  So after Sunday evening, I was doing pretty well.

Fast forward to today...it's three days later, and after the teachers met for announcements and a time of prayer, one of them came up to me and asked I was doing okay.  I said yeah, I was fine...and she asked again.  I repeated myself that I was fine, because I was...after that whole mess on Sunday I've pretty much been fine since (though if the thunder clears up I may go back up to the pond today).  But then I started trying to figure out why she would think that I wasn't doing well.  She was around on Sunday, so it could have been that...but then wouldn't she have asked me Monday?  Well, the conclusion I came to (and I don't know if I'm right or not) is that her roommate was over at my house last night with a group of other girls.  I had been playing soccer, came in, said hi, went to my room and cleaned up, said bye, and went next door to the guys house.  I didn't stay for conversation, it was pretty much in, quick shower, out, gone.  My thought is that she went home and told the teacher that approached me about it...of course out of concern for me.  [Now, understand that this is just my hypothesis, I have little evidence, just deduction.]

If that's what happened, it frustrates me a little bit.  If you're concerned about me, okay...come up and ask, or at the very least, send an e-mail.  Don't talk with someone else about it, I don't appreciate that.  And this is why I tend to hang out with the guys here...they're straightforward...they tell you what they're thinking.  (Don't get me wrong, some of the girls here are great too...but I've run into this issue a lot more with females...in general...than I have with guys.)  A key to how I operate - I'm all about one-on-one relationships...I can do groups if I know most of the people well, and how I get to know people is one-on-one relationships.  Which means I'm not likely to open up to a group of people I don't know well.  We have family night down here every Monday.  It basically is a time when all the people who aren't house parents...aka mostly the singles...get together and have dinner.  Going to that is a stretch for me.  I go because I know it's good to get to know people, but it's a stretch.  I don't say much...maybe by the end of the year I'll be speaking more, but for now I don't.  But part of the reason why I don't is I don't know whether or not I can trust people to keep things that I share to themselves...and with things like what happened today, I'm more inclined to believe that I can't. 

Anyway, so that's where I'm at for now.  I'm doing well for the most part.  School is going well.  I did get a bit of much needed alone time last Sunday.  I just may be avoiding certain people for a few days until I find out what exactly happened...I guess that's the down side to living in a close community...people feel like your business is theirs, and they need to share their concerns...with everyone...or just their roommate.  Sigh.

I am a promise, I am a possibility...

For those of you who recognized that the title was a childrens' song and now have it running through your head, you can thank me later.  I'll explain where that title came from...in a minute.

Tonight we (a group of teachers) went down to the city...mostly just to get away for a night.  This is the third time I've been to the city this week...Sunday, Wednesday and now tonight.  I think that's a record for me.  Anyway, we were just going in for food.  We went to a place that serves fairly typical Honduran food.  I had flautas and pupusas, they were really good.  I would definitely get them again...and it was cheap...less than $5 for a lot of food...and in the end, Jen (the principal) paid for all of us...which was awesome and totally unexpected.  So then another guy in the group, David, decided that we needed ice cream, so we headed over to Wendys which was half a block away.  Being as we were in downtown Teguc, we did drive there, and when we showed up the parking lot was packed...people standing everywhere, etc.  I guess there was some sort of breakdancing organized and a car show.  Anyway, Jason, who was driving, dropped us off and eventually found a place to park.  We all went inside and most of us got frostys (the first ice cream I've had since I got here).  A few of the people in our group went outside to watch what was going on.  About half an hour later we all had finished up and decided to leave...so Jason went to get the busito.  Unfortunately for him the "car show" part had just started...so there was a line of very pimped out cars slowly driving out of the parking lot...nice cars, good paint jobs...one was intentially spewing fire/sparks out of the exhaust, others were bouncing up and down...and then there's the old busito driving in the middle of them all.  And the 12 crazy gringos piling into it like a clown car in reverse.  It was hilarious...watching the expressions on the faces of the people in the crowd...they were laughing and pointing and everything.  We were laughing for a good 10 minutes of the drive...just the incongruity of it all.  Here's our special talent, we can fit a bunch of gringos into a van.

So that in itself made the night...never mind that I got a great meal and dessert and didn't have to pay for it.  Then on the way back, Jason and Scott were talking about something, a chapel coming up or something, and Jason was describing the message that he was thinking about preaching on, and they were discussing songs for it, and the song "I am a promise" came into my head, but I wasn't part of the conversation, so I didn't say anything...until Scott started singing it.  Then I joined in, and Melody joined in...I think Jason was singing too.  And pretty soon it turned into a "what Sunday School songs do you remember" competition.  Most of the time, what one person came up with, most of the rest of us (if not all of the rest of us) knew.  Granted, with Jason and Melody that's kind of cheating, because they went to the same church/school growing up I believe.  But we were going through the list of little kids church songs for a while...the rest of the way back to the Ranch (probably close to 30 minutes at that point).  Notable mentions:  "I just want to be a sheep", "Father Abraham" which I chastised Jason for fully participating in, as he was driving and it requires hand and feet movement, "I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N", "I've got the joy" (a few of the verses), "If I had a little white box", "This little light of mine", etc.  There were a number of them!  And then Simi started with a few that she knew in Portuguese (she's from Brazil)...and the interesting thing is I think for most of the ones she remembered, we had an English equivalent.  It was definitely fun times, a really good night.  And now I'm very tired and going to bed.  Have a great weekend!

Learning Spanish...

Today I had my second Spanish lesson.  One of my students agreed to help me with my Spanish, and today we met up as I had campo duty (basically keeping an eye on the kids playing up by the playground/soccer field).  It's interesting learning Spanish from someone who is a native speaker and not a teacher, because I'm asking her about tenses, and she doesn't necessarily know what they mean, but when I give her examples she totally uses the "right" tenses, at least according to what I remember from high school.  She's also more concerned with making sure I sound somewhat educated, and warning me about the ways that people "morph" the language...in other words, some of the ways they take shortcuts which makes it less understandable (dropping letters, etc).  Our focus mostly is getting me to the point where I can get around Teguc or speak to people here who aren't bilingual in such a way that I am understood and I can understand them.  There were many words I knew today, but some I didn't, and I will probably spend some time working on them.  We talked through some common commands I would use as a teacher.  The lessons are really random, but that's okay, because I'm learning things.  That's all that's important, right.  Right now the lessons are being run in English, but hopefully some time soon they'll switch to Spanish.  I may ask her about that if it doesn't happen naturally in the next month or so. 

Yesterday I had the opportunity to practice a bit of Spanish in the city.  Wednesdays are half days, so I went to the city with a few people from the Ranch.  I was helping move some furniture and cursory clean out a house that one of the students is moving into shortly.  Afterwards we went out to dinner, and the parents I was with don't speak much English.  Their oldest (a student of mine) was doing a lot of translating, but I decided a few times to go out on a limb and try speaking with them in Spanish, and I think they understood well enough...at least they said they did...so that made me feel good.  Dinner was good, the company was good...but by time I got back home I was exhausted.  There's something about a bone-jarring drive over dirt roads with questionable shocks that wears you out...and the saddest part is, I barely notice the drive anymore.  I still get tired, but most of the way on the road, I don't notice it.  Granted, I'm not quite to the point where I could fall asleep on the drive back, which some of the kids do, but it doesn't draw my attention any more.  And it seems longer in the dark...partially because it's more difficult for me to track landmarks, since so many of my landmarks are too far away to see in the dark.  I had fun...and that's what's important, right?

Cookie Adventures...

Yesterday my house (meaning me and the girls I'm living with) hosted "Family Night".  The way family night works is every Monday night all the singles (and the married couple who aren't house parents) get together for a big meal at one house.  We rotate from house to house, so you host it approximately once a month, or slightly less frequently, as there are 5 houses it can rotate between.  Last night was our turn, and I made chili and broccoli cheese soup with chicken and potatoes in it.  I got the recipes from my mother (they were actual recipes with only a few statements of "add enough of this").  We also had cornbread and brownies for dessert.  It was good stuff.  Buying the stuff we needed at the store was something of an adventure, because there were a few substitutions that had to be made, etc...but it went well.  So major cooking expedition number 1 a success.  (I have cooked down here, but it was just for my house - Melody and Rachel - so not quite as big of a deal.)

Then, today I went next door to help Scott and Favio make cookies (Andes mint cookies, I need to learn this recipe, it's really good).  Mostly this is guide Favio into making the cookies, teaching him how to follow a recipe, dealing with fractions for ingredients, how to measure and follow directions, etc.  It's a really good learning exercise.  So we get to the part where it calls for two eggs.  Scott is cracking the eggs in a bowl, and I'm looking at the recipe and I hear him start gagging.  I look over, and it appears that the second egg he was breaking had a dead chick inside it.  I grabbed the bowl (fortunately he was breaking them into an empty bowl and not directly into the chocolate mix), took it and dumped it outside while he caught his breath.  I got a whiff of it as I dumped it...pretty potent stuff.  This was repeated two more times until eventually he just decide to throw the whole batch of eggs out.  Fortunately he had another dozen, and the first two eggs were fine, but wow.  Maybe not quite up to "the beast" level...maybe not even "son of the beast" level...but pretty potent nonetheless (for those who don't understand those references, it's an inside joke).  So he and Favio are currently making a compost pile run in the mule while I sit here and write in my blog.  The cookie batter is currently cooling in the fridge.  They should be back pretty soon (actually I think I hear the mule as I write this...the mule is an ATV...it makes a lot of noise).  But that was the adventure in making cookies.  And note to self, never crack eggs directly over the batter...because there could be something nasty inside...hopefully the smell dissipates pretty soon.

Otherwise, I'm doing well.  Tomorrow is a half day of school, and I may be going into the city in the afternoon.  I don't know for sure yet, but the chances are pretty good.  And while everyone back home is just starting or recently started school, I've been in school with students for 3.5 weeks at this point.  Progress reports are due this coming Monday...wow.  Where did the time go?

Have a great day!  Hopefully the rest of this cooking expedition goes as planned.

Encouragement...

This is a great culture for encouragement...at least I'm finding it that way.  I probably couldn't list all the positive things that happened today, but I'll name a few. 

This morning, at chapel, one of the Honduran teachers came up to me and said that I have a good singing voice.  I appreciated it...especially because there are a lot of people who sing here.  Then during Geometry today, one of the two students was not in school today, so I asked the girl in class (my senior) if she wanted to go over the lesson or if she wanted to do something else, since I'm going to have to re-teach it anyway (we're beginning proofs...not something you want people to miss).  So instead we started talking.  She agreed to help me learn/become more proficient in Spanish, so today was kind of our first lesson, where she was mostly asking me basic questions to see what I know and what I don't know.  Some of our conversation was in English and some was in Spanish.  Later, another student said he heard that she was going to be helping me, and asked why I needed help, because my Spanish was already good.  I told him (in Spanish) that I know only a little Spanish, I can say a few sentences at a time, but I have to think a LOT to speak in Spanish and I want to get better.  He pointed out that what I just said was more than a few sentences and he didn't think I needed much help at all.  I disagree, but I appreciated the thought anyway. 

By that time in the afternoon, I was doing pretty well, it had been a good day, and I was enjoying being here.  To round it off, one of the teachers (actually a substitute teacher) stopped by after school to tell me that one of my students had told her in conversation that they really liked math and science this year, and he thought I was a really good teacher.  That kind of made my day...it's always nice to be appreciated. 

I always want to follow up a "depressed" blog post with a more upbeat one...which sometimes takes a few days, but fortunately this time around didn't take that long.  I am doing better than last night.  I still miss home and people there, but it's not nearly as strongly as last night, and today did a great job of encouraging me and reminding me just why I'm here.  [And it's Friday...and we all know how I feel about Fridays!]  Have a great weekend!

Melancholy...

I've been here basically a month...or it will be on Saturday.  The 4 week mark was yesterday (Wednesday).  I''ve transitioned, I've made friends, life is good.  So I was really surprised to be struck with such a wave of homesickness tonight.

I know the trigger...I called home.  Now, this isn't the first time I've called home.  But, the first time I called (using Scott's phone) I was passed around like a hot potato.  I talked with a bunch of family for about 3 to 4 minutes each.  Phone call ended, it was nice talking with them.  The second time was this past Sunday...and I was calling from a van full of people and it was difficult to hear at times, and we couldn't really talk about much of anything, because I was surrounded, quite literally.  Tonight, however, I applied bug spray (rather liberally), took my phone and a flashlight and started walking up.  And by up I mean up the hill, and another hill...the hill is kind of never ending.  I didn't go all the way to the top (which probably would have taken 20 minutes), but I went up until I saw that I had 2 bars of signal on my phone.  So, with no one else around, and mostly protected from the wildlife (and by that I mean the insects), I called home. 

The connection was great.  It sounded like I was calling from my home back in the States, possibly clearer.  Dad answered, I talked with him for probably 15 minutes, then Mom picked up and I rounded out the hour talking with her.  [Literally, when I checked the time after hanging up, I talked for 59 minutes and some change.]  It was awesome.  We talked as if I was standing in the room with them, rather than a couple of countries away, like we used to do once or twice a week when I went over to their house (or all the time during this summer when I was living there).  Topics included my life here, people I've met, students, school (which is the same the world over), their life, what's going on back home, how people are, Mom's school and students...and everything in between.  Distance fell away, it didn't matter.  The wonders of technology.

I ended the call, and carefully made my way back home...I got in the house, and as I went to turn off my phone and put it away, all I wanted to do was go back up that hill and call again.  It's almost like when I was up there talking with them, I was with them.  And hanging up and going home brought back the fact that I'm a world away.  And I miss them.  I tell myself it's ridiculous, because I've exchanged dozens of e-mails with them without such a strong emotional response.  But there's something about hearing their voices that brought everything to the surface.

I know this too shall pass.  I'm sure tomorrow morning things will get busy again, school will start up, and I'll be back in my world here, doing what I need to do, what I know how to do, getting to know my students better and hopefully teaching them something.  Life will go on...but it's a little lonely right now.

If I had only known...

...what I was signing up for, I probably would have stayed on the sidelines.

Not with coming down here, I meant when I was up at the campo (soccer field) earlier today.  I had supervision duty today (well, kind of, I was filling in for someone else, but regardless, I was there).  I changed into shorts and a shortsleeved shirt (no teacher clothes) before going up there.  When I got there, three people were there, kicking a soccer ball around.  There were some kids on the playground as well, with a few adults watching them. 

I probably sat there for 5 minutes before the guys out there asked me to play.  Now I'm not sure if I'm supposed to play or not, and I said that, and they said it was okay...which after today I need to double check.  But I took them at their word, and joined them.  One of my students got in the goal, and the rest of us were passing and shooting on him. 

Somehow, I impressed them with my ability to play soccer.  I haven't really played in years.  Good to know it hasn't completely left me.  I had a lot of people telling me that I was really good.  Part of that means that I can get the soccer ball moving pretty quickly and accurately, I know how to pass, dribble, etc...all those basic soccer skills.  In the end, we ended up playing a pick-up game...it started as 5 a side...it went to 7 on 5 by the end (my team had 5), and I believe, if I could follow the score, that we won...though by the end of the game there was a lot of "self-called" fouls...so take that with a grain of salt. 

Anyway, it was a lot of fun.  But I think this means I'm getting drafted tomorrow when we play against the brigade.  Which I definitely don't mind doing, I enjoyed playing today.  I'll probably go up there a little more often now that I know (and they know me a bit).  I overheard a lot of impressed "ella" comments, and I was the only one out there that "ella" could be referring to, for most of the time.  And it was a good workout...hopefully I won't be out of breath nearly as quickly in a few weeks.  Walking around in this altitude is one thing...playing soccer in this altitude is quite another.  It's a way to meet people I guess, because some of the house dads were out there, and I was playing with some of the younger kids I didn't know really at all.  I knew some names, but that's about it.  So it's definitely good.  I just have a feeling I'm going to be asked to play soccer...a LOT.

The Blessing of Friends...

One of my concerns coming down here - unstated - was in making friends and forming relationships with people (adults) down here.  I have a few strikes against me: 1.) I'm going to be here only for a year, and I'm up front about that, which means that any friends I make, I'll be separated from in a year, 2.) I'm mathematically and scientifically minded...which means I say random scientific things from time to time, which sometimes make people look at me sideways, and I sometimes find it difficult to take people who are (to my mind) totally illogical seriously, and 3.) I'm extremely sarcastic, and until you know me well, you can't always tell when I'm serious and when I'm sarcastic.  Couple those with the fact that pretty much all the good friendships I have right now took at least months if not years to start...and I wasn't encouraged by my chances of forming good friendships here.  I don't trust easily...I can be friendly, but that doesn't mean I'm going to share things with you...and without sharing, true friends can't form.  So I pretty much figured I was going to be subsisting this year on good acquaintances...and hoped there would be a few of those so I didn't feel alone.  It's part of my personality that I accepted a while ago...good, bad or indifferent.

I've been here less than a month at this point...a little over three weeks.  I realized this morning that I have two friends here already...people who I actually count as friends and not just good acquaintances with whom I can comfortably spend time.  I can talk with them easily, I can tell them really anything, and they reciprocate in kind.  They encourage me and they support me when I need it.  I've been incredibly blessed in coming here.  Honestly, it's more than I would have felt comfortable hoping for two months ago.  It's not that I'm not friendly...because I can usually get along with just about anyone...emphasis on the "just about".  I can at least be civil to everyone.  But the trust factor usually takes time for me to build.  The number of people in my life that I trust is growing, which is good.  But usually that's after a long period of knowing them.  And the fact that I'm saying this and thinking this after a mere three and a half week of living here surprises me.  It's a good type of surprise.  And to all my friends back home, don't worry, I still definitely love you all, and I miss you!  I have been blessed in so many ways by so many friends!

Friday is here...

Well, shortly after writing the blog yesterday, I felt the need to go for a walk and be alone.  I was thinking through a situation happening to a friend back home, and I wanted time and space to process.  At home, that isn't a big deal...throw on the iPod and head in a variety of directions...here it doesn't work so well.  There are people everywhere...or at least everywhere that I know on the Ranch, and I don't know the area outside the Ranch well enough to go wandering.  Not that I would get lost, but it was getting dark, and being out in the community alone after dark when people don't know me may not be the smartest move.  Just a thought.  I started to head up towards the campo (soccer field) however I could hear people there, so I headed down by the school.  There were two people there, but I went up the back way and avoided them...until they decided to leave and saw me.  Which in the end was a good thing, because they gave me somewhere to go...they gave me very specific directions on how to get to the pond.  They also said change into long pants and sneakers, apply bugspray, and bring a flashlight...all of which I did (and appreciated).  The walk is mostly vertical...not so much that you have to use your hands, but your legs definitely get a workout.  The pond was great, and the solitude was much appreciated.  I was there for probably half an hour or more before I decided that sitting underneath really tall trees by a pond wasn't the smartest thing to do when a thunderstorm was approaching.  So I walked back...the flashlight was now necessary.  I think I've found a new favorite place...which brings my total up to 2 - the screened in porch and the pond.  [I'm in the screened-in porch as I type.]

Today went fairly well.  We had chapel this morning, which was an interesting experience, because it was, by and large, in Spanish.  I understood much of what was being said, and was given an opportunity to read scripture in Spanish.  It went pretty well, a few of my students later told me that my pronunciation was good.  I like that sort of encouragement.  It's definitely appreciated. I've had a few more conversations or snippets of conversations in Spanish this week.  I may not be as far as I want to get, because I do still primarily operate in English, but I'm seeing little steps, which are good.  I'm hoping that pretty soon I'll be able to understand the pastor at my church here without the interpretation.  That will be a great Sunday...whenever it happens. 

And now the gloriousness of the weekend.  I have no plans other than church and hopefully shopping on Sunday (I kind of need groceries).  Tomorrow I should probably try to make copies or whatever for the week, but it's difficult for me to get that motivated on Saturday.  I enjoy being able to take the day off!

Almost Friday :-)

Regardless of country, when teaching school, Friday is a good day.  Tomorrow marks the end of the second week of school, just as yesterday marked the end of my 3rd week in Honduras (or the beginning of my 4th week, whichever way you want to look at it).  In some ways it seems like I've been here forever, and in others it seems like I just got here.  I'm getting to know "my" kids, scholastically at least.  Some of them are great, and some of them really haven't grown up yet...which is understandable when you consider I'm teaching 6th - 12th grade.  That's a lot of growth time.  There's a huge difference between Freshmen and Juniors (sometimes).  Senior year...well, I think there's some reverting that often happens.  But still, it's been a definite learning curve as I try to figure out how to teach younger kids, what I can expect from them, and what guidance they need.  In some ways I feel like I'm back to a first year teacher, trying to figure out what works and what doesn't.  I have no reputation here to fall back on...or rather I didn't walk in with a reputation.  I've had two positive comments from students relayed through two different teachers, which is always encouraging.  Starting over in a new school is difficult enough without the whole language barrier.  Granted, my students speak English...with varying levels of proficiency.  Some are very good, and others are conversational, but not necessarily science/math vocabulary proficient.  Math is easier, because regardless, you can show, step by step, on the board, and with simple words and gestures get your point across.  Science...well, that's been an adventure at times. 

I've done a better job this week of being more involved with people.  There has been less hibernating in my room.  I've visited the house next door a bit, spent a bit of time with my roommates (when they weren't playing Mario), and actually had (some long) conversations with people.  I'm mostly getting more comfortable with the people here, which is good.  And I think I've mostly figured out who understands and appreciates sarcasm...aka the people with whom I will be spending the majority of my free time.  I also make it through today (and yesterday I think) not messing up Franklin's name.  [Pretty much every day last week, I called him Kevin at least once...Kevin is his younger brother...and I feel bad about that.] 

There are a few more school things I need to get done.  I potentially have quizzes to write for tomorrow, I have to check what I already have on file.  I need to finish lesson plans for next week (I just have Physics left to look at, so they're mostly done).  I lose one of my prep periods tomorrow because of chapel, so I may want to get that stuff figured out and copied today...but of course that would be thinking ahead too much, right.  Anyway, so back to doing real work stuff.  I hope you all have a blessed day, and I'd love to hear what you're up to. :-)

Wednesday :-)

It's Wednesday, which means half a day of school, because there's a visiting brigade coming in, so the students get out at 11:30 so they can clear the school during the tour and get ready for the soccer game. That will be later...right now it's 7:15 in the morning and I'm enjoying the relative calm of morning on the screened in porch. This is my favorite part of the morning. I'm ready for school, I don't have to leave for 20 minutes at least, so I get to sit here, pray, write, and just bask in the beauty of this place. This is what gets me up in the morning...the knowledge that I get this time. That's what keeps me from hitting snooze 5 times in the morning. I get to spend time with God and enjoy His creation. And that's what I'm going to try to focus on today.

Phone Home...

Or actually I phoned my aunt and uncle's house where some of my family was gathered to celebrate my grandmother's birthday. When I checked e-mail the other day (Friday) I found one from my aunt inviting everyone over to her their place for dinner at 5...so I called about 5:30 their time and ended up getting to speak with my grandma, my parents, and a few cousins. It was definitely good to talk with people, and thank you, Scott, for letting me use your phone/antenna. I still need to get a cell phone down here.

The weekend went really well. I had a lot of time interacting with people and getting to known them better. I went back to the same church I went to last week (sans chicken) and I think I'm going to stay there for this year. I understood the pastor better this week...which hopefully means I'm getting better at picking up the language...or it could mean he was speaking more slowly this week!

I should probably get to bed...because tomorrow starts another week of school. Hopefully interaction with people will keep up this week. Love you all! Have a great week!

Adjustments...

And just when I thought I was adjusting so well...

Don't worry, nothing bad happened, I just realized that maybe my adjustment wasn't happening as smoothly as I anticipated.  I made it through the first week of school, and that is going well.  School is school, I can snap into "teacher mode" in a matter of seconds, figure out what I need to do, and do it.  The kids are nice, and most of them are responsible and get their homework done.  I have a couple of boys that...well, we'll see how that goes.

What did happen is I realized that after school, I'm withdrawing from everyone.  I've read 4 books in the last week.  One of which, I realized after the fact, was 700+ pages long.  (The problem with using kindle/nook apps...you can't really see the size of the book.)  Since Tuesday, I've probably spent a total of 1 hour in the company of my roommates actually talking with them.  The rest of the times I've been by myself reading, facebooking, or e-mailing.  I haven't even really paid attention to school, until it became necessary.  So it hit me yesterday morning as I was reading my Bible and praying on the screened in porch (a GREAT place for devotions) that I'm not adjusting, because I'm not interacting.  I'm surrounding myself by the familiar as much as I can.  It could be in part that with school starting and more responsibility I need time to think and process...but not from 4pm until I go to bed, usually after 10 or 11.  I want to interact here, I want to really participate in life.  I don't want to spend the whole year hiding in my room (or the screened in porch, beautiful as it is...I'm really impressed with it if you couldn't tell).

So yesterday at the teachers meeting before school (we meet together about 15 minutes before school starts to make announcements and pray as a group) when Jennifer asked for prayer requests, I said that pray that I start to adjust and stop withdrawing from everyone, and I described what my roommates had already seen, and apologized for it.  It was good, they were really understanding about it. 

After school yesterday when I went home, no one was there...so I was going to write a blog entry then.  However, I heard noise coming from the house next door (video game noises), so I decided to make an effort and interact.  When I went over there (after knocking) I found three of my students playing video games in the guys' house...which seemed to be a fairly common occurance.  Scott, one of the teachers, was there too.  So I spent the afternoon/evening talking with people.  And it was good times.  When Melody (one roommate) came home, she came over for a while.  After the power went out about 9, Hannah, another teacher, joined us.  And the 5 of us (I forgot to mention that Lucas got home sometime around 6 and my students left shortly thereafter) talked and laughed until probably 10:30 or so.  I did spend a little time checking e-mail, but I definitely didn't start reading a book. 

Today I've been invited (or rather told) that I'm going to the Valle with a group of the teachers here.  More enforced interactions.  I'm looking forward to it, I want to get a purse because I didn't bring any of mine with me, and they sell these huge shoulder bags there.  I had a blue one for a few years before it finally wore out. [I bought it in 2006.]  They don't look overly large, but they can hold everything (okay maybe a slight overstatement, but only slight), and I loved it.  So I'm hoping to get another one of those.  I don't know how long we're planning on being out, we're leaving late morning so my guess is we'll eat lunch out there. 

My hope is, now that I've recognized what I'm doing, I'll be able to work through it (and now that I've brought it to the attention of the rest of the teachers here, a few of them will help me).  Scott told me that he did the same thing when he first got here...at least in terms of withdrawing...and now he's doing really well, so there definitely is hope. :-)  And actually, after yesterday and spending time talking and laughing with everyone, I'm already feeling better.  I just know I'm going to need to be intentional about spending time with other people and not totally hibernating in my room.  A little hibernation is okay, and for me, probably necessary...but definitely not as much as I have been doing lately.

Highlight of the week (well, other than spending time with everyone last night): one of my students came in and told me that now Math is her favorite subject, and she had never liked it before.  She also said that she told her parents that and they didn't believe her at first.  It made me smile.

School has started...

I now have two days of school behind me.  Today went more smoothly than yesterday.  Yesterday, I mostly felt like I was surviving.  I didn't know the students, they didn't know me...and it felt very strange with only two of them in class at a time, so I was feeling a little uncomfortable.  I'm sure they felt a little awkward as well, because they're accustomed to knowing their teachers for the most part, and they don't know me (and in some cases I was the only teacher they didn't already know).  After yesterday I knew I could make this work, but I didn't know what exactly I would need to do to make it work well.

Today was much better.  I had a little bit better sense of the students and of pacing.  I clicked into "teacher mode" at least with the high schoolers.  It may take me another few days to get a sense of the middle schoolers - what I can and should expect of them in terms of ability and learning, but at least we mostly have a sense of rapport down.  I brought in some pictures of my family (and my cat) to show them, and they enjoyed that.  I still need to figure out what I'm doing for tomorrow, but I'm not too worried that I'll be able to get something figured out.  It's just definitely a change teaching 2 kids per class, especially when in some cases one student is much farther advanced than the other.  There's no buffering of other students who are halfway in between, and there's no "hiding" it either.  Even with the fewer kids, I'm also spending more time in school actually teaching than I'm used to.  Preparing for class is much more time consuming as well, but grading is nothing, which is nice.  In the long run, it will probably be less work, but right now, getting the hang of it seems a little more difficult and a little more out of my comfort zone...but it's coming.

So for now, I'm going back to preparing for tomorrow.  Hopefully the process starts going more quickly soon!