I’ve always found the Saturday between Good Friday and Easter to be an interesting day. It’s a day of crushed hopes, of disappointment. I can picture Jesus’ disciples looking at each other with a “what now?” expression. Their hope was killed, betrayed by one they all called friend. How do you react to that?
If Easter…the resurrection…hadn’t arrived, that would have been the end of the story. They likely would have gone back to their own lives, back to fishing, collecting taxes, whatever they had done before. But that’s not the end of the story. The women came with the news that Jesus’ body had been removed from the tomb, and on inspection it was true. The tomb where Jesus’ body had been hastily placed and well-guarded (by trained, Roman soldiers) was indeed empty. And the disciples were confused. One of the women is convinced that she actually spoke with Jesus. Then a report comes from two who followed with them, saying that a very-much-alive Jesus had walked with them as they were going to Emmaus, explaining why this man Jesus had to come, live as he had, and die as he did. He explained that his death WAS the fulfillment of scripture. And about the time they realized who he was, Jesus disappeared from their presence. They ran back to Jerusalem as fast as they could to report it. Later, Jesus appears to all the disciples. Their hope is restored and their lives are changed, radically changed.
But right now, on this day, they don’t know that. They have a bleak future ahead of them…one of uncertainty and futility. I wonder what they thought of that day after the fact. And the next few weeks, when Jesus was with them, preparing to leave them for the second time. The uncertainty they faced of what their life would be like after he was gone. Jesus had spent the last three years preparing them for this time. Shortly, they would be past the point of preparation, and would pass into living life under the unseen guidance of the Holy Spirit, and spreading to all parts of the known world what they had seen in Jesus and learned from Jesus.
In some ways it feels that the last year and a half for me has been a time of preparation. A year ago at this time I was in the middle of raising funds, buying a plane ticket, trying to get things in order at home so I could come here. In many ways, I had no idea what life would look like here. I didn’t know the people I was going to meet, the friends I was going to make, the experiences I would have. I didn’t know the changes that would go on in me, the ways that God would speak to me, grow me and guide me further on this path of life and maturity. And again, I find myself in that same place. Except this time I’m preparing to go back home.
In the last nine months I’ve seen God work in my life in amazing ways, I’ve seen God work in the kids that I teach. I watched some of them mature dramatically. I’ve seen myself change. Looking back, I know I’ve been here for a reason, I know God called me here, and I know He’s calling me to go back home. And that’s all that matters…because if I came here because I wanted to and for no other reason, then it most likely would have been a waste of my time. If I’m doing what I want to do because I want to do it, even if I think it’s a good thing, my efforts fall flat. I’m here, because God called me here, He paved the way for it; every detail fell effortlessly into place. It doesn’t mean it’s been easy, it just means every roadblock I put up was torn down rather quickly.
And it all comes back to God. It all comes back to what He did for me all those years ago on that cross. It all comes back to the meaning behind Easter. In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul said “If Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and so is your faith. Your faith is worthless; you are still in your sins. If we have hope in Christ in this life only, we are to be pitied above all men.”
